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Blonde Funny Jokes has over 300 hand selected Blonde Jokes for your laughing pleasure. Blonde Jokes pages can be found on the left, with Blonde Joke of the Day and Latest Blonde Jokes below.

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Funny Blonde Joke Of The Day

A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here." The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal and I'm staying right here." The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I have learned to speak 'blonde." He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and without question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal."

Blonde Funny Jokes: Latest

Ok so there is a Blondie and she is sitting with head phones on, a boy comes up to her and says "hey you want to go on a date" the blonde just sits there. They soon get marred have kid and all that. The man finally said "what are you listening to?" Pulling out the ear buds, all he could here was" breath in breath out ..." The man looked at his wife lying on the ground gasping for air....
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Blonde got a fishing rod for her birthday and wanted to go ice fishing. Next morning she got all her gear, headed out and when she reached her destination she proceeded to cut a hole in the ice. She dipped the rod in, then suddenly she heard a voice say "there's no fish in there". She moves to another spot, cuts another hole, again a voice told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and again the voice tells her there are no fish there. She looks up only to see a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" Man says "First of all this is a hockey rink and seco...
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One morning three blonde men decided to go on a hike and drink some beer. When they reached the top ... a genie poped out of the last bottle and said I will give each you one wish each. The first blonde runs to the top of the cliff and sees an eagle and flys off. The second blonde sees a bear and disappears down the mountian trail. The third blonde runs to the edge and trips. Says oh crap and turns into a moose pie...
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A blonde woman phones her blonde neighbor who lives down the street and says, "Better close your curtains the next time you and your husband are fooling around, my goodness, the whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Blonde replies, "Well the joke is all on you guys because I wasn't even at home yesterday." ...
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A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. Concerned, she tells the vet "I think it's got epilepsy". The vet takes a good look and says, "Your goldfish seems calm enough to me." The blonde says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of it's bowl yet." ...
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Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease? A: It only affects the brain....
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How many stupid blondes does it take to make an electrical circuit? A: Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer to her...
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Q: Why did the blonde thief try to steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a porche 911. ...
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Doctor's office had a blonde come into the clinic with two burnt ears. Doctor asked her "What happened to your ears?" Well the blonde replied "I was ironing away and then the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear". Doctor inquired further "That ear is painfully red, "Well, what happened to your other ear?" "The telemarketing guy called again!" ... ...
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A blonde and a brunette went to the bar for a drink, and sat at the bar stools watching the 6 o'clock news. The lead story has a man threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The Blonde said "I'll bet you, to the brunette, $100 that he will not jump." Well, sure enough he jumped, so the blonde gave the brunette the $100. The brunette pleaded, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde insisted saying, "No I pay you, A bet is a bet." Then the brunette confessed "Listen, I saw this storey on the 5 o'clock news today, so really I cannot take your money." The blonde replied "We...
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A newly wed young blonde fears her husband is having an affair. She goes down to a gun shop and buys herself 44 magnum. The next day after work she finds him in bed with a redhead. So she grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps off the bed, begs and pleads with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde cries out to the husband: "Shut up, you're next."...
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A blonde and her husband are watching the news. The newscaster says six Brazilians died in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably, her husband says "Too bad they died skydiving. Skydiving is dangerous." The blonde looks back at her husband and goes how many is "6 Brazilian"...
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